Fri. Nov 16th, 2018

#TruStory: First Date

Sticky Bra

Ugh, well this story might make me sound a little skanky but whatever, it’s 2018; girl power. I was at a work event that was in Las Vegas, the city of sin. My boss and I decided to hit the clubs after a long day of walking the floor for a tradeshow. We ran into one of her friends, also one of our clients. He happened to be the CEO, he was also charming, funny, and had a booth with bottle service at the club. It was clear early in the night that he wanted to take me home and after a few vodka sodas, it was clear to me that I was going to let him.

We spent the rest of the night together, partying, dancing, and laughing and the vodka plus his witty charm had completely won me over at this point. As the night winds down, I ask him to come back to my room. He obviously does. What happens next, I will leave up to your imagination, but the next morning we both woke up naked.

As we both start to open our eyes and wake up, I him grumble and say, “What…what is on my ass?” I rolled over just in time to see him pulling my sticky bra, off his ass, which might I add it cupped perfectly to his butt cheek. I laughed for about 4-5 minutes, then spent an additional 4-5 minutes explaining to him what it was. Can this be considered a first date? Well, why the f*ck not? #TruStory

Dinner for…3?

I’m not big on blind dates but in a world of Tinder, Bumble, and whatever else is out there I figured meeting a random dude through a co-worker can’t be any weirder than meeting a guy from the internet, right?

All I knew about him was that he was an overgrown frat boy, with a good job, lived close to me, and he liked sports. Being that I was 26 and still in a full-blown party phase, I thought why not meet up with the frat boy.

He picked this bar/restaurant that I’d been to a few times. It was casual, and I liked the idea of it. I showed up approximately 6 minutes late in hopes that he’d be there first, get the table, and I could make my grand entrance.

The way my life was going, I should’ve known my night would not go as I had planned.

I show up and ask the hostess if a single man had arrived, and she said no. She asked if I’d prefer to be sat at a table right away or if I’d like to wait for him at the bar. Despite desperately wanting a drink, I decided I’d be a lady and get a table. If I went to the bar, I’d certainly go for my drink of choice, patron straight up, and who knows where the night would take me by the time he got there.

Sitting at the table, 10 more minutes pass and still no sign of him. I continue to scan the dining room to see if any single guys are waiting for their Leading Lady to arrive. I wait 5 more minutes before deciding to send a text, “hi – I’m here, hope to see you soon.” I immediately receive a text back, “Hi – I’m here too! Blue jacket, far right. I’ll stand.”

I scan the room and indeed spot a man with a blue jacket, on the far right, standing, but there is another woman at his table and that just doesn’t make sense. Isn’t this a first date?!

At this point, he spots me and I have no choice but to head to the table. I’m wondering if he planned two dates at once and thought this was appropriate? I walk up and he says, “Laura! So great to meet you. This is my sister, Elizabeth.” Thank god I wasn’t drinking anything because I would’ve choked. YOUR SISTER?! ON A FIRST DATE?!

Let me add there was no backstory to this. Like oh, her flight just landed or I don’t know, any explanation to why he brought his SISTER on the first date. Long story short, the dinner lasted an hour and 15 minutes and then I politely told the duo that I was tired and had a big day of work. He was a nice guy, and his sister a nice gal, but I chose not to see him again. It was just too weird. #TruStory

Drive Thru or BUST!

I met this guy at a bar on a Thursday. I was a bit intoxicated, but he was funny, cute, and we got along well from the start. He asked me if I’d accompany him on a date that upcoming Saturday. I was single and looking at the time, so I agreed immediately.

He texted me the next day to confirm plans, told me to dress casually, and that he’d plan the rest of the date. I already was feeling him considering he followed up and took control. I was actually pretty excited for the date.

Saturday7PM – he arrives on time. What?! Is this my dream man? That’s what I’m thinking at this point at least.

I get in his car and we start heading towards the main drag, lots of restaurants and bars to choose from and I’m curious to what he’ll pick. We continue down the street, passing a lot of places I thought he might stop. It gets to the point where I realize we are not going to be dining in the center square but I have not lost all hope.

He then bangs two more rights and I find myself sitting in the McDonald’s drive thru. Naturally, I start to giggle; and I’m not sure if this is a nervous giggle or if I’m just praying it’s a joke. SPOILER ALERT: This was NOT a joke, this was NOT a joke.

He turned and smiled at me as he said, “You can have anything you want,” and the reality of the whole situation is hitting me. Also, we’re in the drive thru, we can’t even dine in?!

I order a Big Mac with extra special sauce because at this point, I feel like I have nothing left to lose. He commends me on my order and throws up a high five, because I’m now suddenly his bro and we’re getting hungover McD’s together?! We get our food and drives us to a park, where we eat, mostly in silence because I’m shell shocked still and he is enjoying his food too much.

At the end of our fine dining experience, he asks if I’d like to grab a drink. I told him I had to be home and couldn’t but “definitely next time!”

Narrator: There would indeed not be a next time. #TruStory